If you haven't seen the Fireproof movie, please do! It was made by the same church that made Facing the Giants, but it is a much better movie! Kirk Cameron plays the main character who is a fireman. Kirk Cameron, if you don't know, is a Christian and has several ministries that he is involved in, including Way of the Master.
Here are my notes from the conference:
How to Fireproof your Marriage:
- The heart of the problem is a problem of the heart. "The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?" Jeremiah 17:9 (The condition of your heart is really the foundation of all of your other problems.) Your second birth is as radical as your first. Before you were born, you weren't there and then you were! Before being saved, your spiritual life is nonexistent, then it is there!
- Singing Sinatra or Surrendering Self The hymn sung in Hell is "I did it my way." Be on alert for separateness between you and your spouse and constantly remember to put your spouse's needs above your own.
- Burning Bridges and Building Altars Once a dog finds a feeding ground he will continue to come back to that feeding ground again and again to feed. You can burn the bridges to the feeding ground, but the dog will find another way to get there. We are just like dogs when it comes to temptation. We can burn bridges to the temptations that we face, but if we don't build an altar where the feeding ground was, we will continue to return there. We have to replace our temptation for sin with a love of God!
"Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered." 1 Peter 3:7 (KJV)
Kirk dissected the above verse in this way:
"Dwell with them" - spend time with your wife
- 15 min/day - sit and converse with your wife everyday (free of other distractions)
- 1 evening/week - Date Night!
- 1 day/month - Spend the whole day together
- 1 weekend/year - Get away from the house, the kids, the jobs, etc.
- "Nothing" doesn't mean nothing!
- Romance comes from sacrifice and planning not convenience
- Genuine compliments are never wasted
- A little help goes a long way
"as to the weaker vessel (body)" - Protection - Protect your wife - be patient with your wife when she desires safety and manage your anger.
"heirs together of the grace (blessings) of life" Open up and share with your wife
"so that your prayers may not be hindered" Pray together
Men are responsible to God for the condition of their marriage!
Also, while we are there Warren Barfield played and he was amazing to see! He wrote the song that became theme song of the Fireproof movie. He was really funny and his acoustic version of "Love is not a Fight" gave me goosebumps. Here is the normal video with scenes from the movie. If you don't have time to watch the video, the lyrics speak volumes so here they are (I LOVE the last stanza - it makes me cry):
Love is not a place
To come and go as we please
It's a house we enter in
Then commit to never leave
So lock the door behind you
Throw away the key
We'll work it out together
Let it bring us to our knees
Love is a shelter in a raging storm
Love is peace in the middle of a war
And if we try to leave, may God send angels to guard the door
No, love is not a fight but it's something worth fighting for
To some, love is a word
That they can fall into
But when they're falling out
Keeping that word is hard to do
Love will come to save us
If we'll only call
He will ask nothing from us
But demand we give our all
I will fight for you
Would you fight for me?
It's worth fighting for
I hope you enjoyed these notes and lyrics! Pass these on to anyone who is married!
Update: I just read that feedyourfaith.org will be releasing copies of the conference for sale sometime this week. Check their website or FB for more info.